I am not used to failing. I'm not saying I do things right all the time, but I know what I am capable of. The thing about it though, is that I'm only good at what I love.. or at least patient with what I enjoy doing.
Right now, I have a job that I really didn't dream or. It's a good paying job and I love the people but even if i started out with flying colors, I'm now quickly sliding off the slope, arms flailing helplessly in the air.
Happiness is a choice -I've always said that. But I know it's difficult to believe and practice. I can choose to be happy with this job. I am, in a way. But I know this is not what I was cut out for. This is not something I can be incredible at. And the longer I stay, the more tortured I feel.
I wish I could quit. And go after something I actually want. Because right now, I feel like a fish trying fly with wings that are not there.
But this is the way it has to be for now.
I only wish my sanity doesn't depart from me...
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