The Divine Secrets of the Jan-Rai Sisterhood

This is Manang Terai -my half sister. She's about 16 years older than me and with different mothers and all, we didn't grow up together. But we've never had problems. She's a real cool sister. She lets me sleepover and hang out with my nephews and neices. She drags me along summer vacations and she supports me in everything.

I wish we can have more time to hang out and bond in the future -I've always wanted a big sister and I believe now that I'm older and more mature, that's very much possible.

I miss her and her kids all the time but at least every moment spent with them is unforgettable..

Thanks for being there Manang, and for supporting me all the way..

Hehe..

Sherbet Sisters

Happy...

I'd go crazy in Dell if it weren't for my gurlfriendz...

Gracie gid ho....

Co-camwhore ko...

Dason naman.. Damo pa ni..

==="-"===

The Past Doesn't Forget...

Have you ever screwed up so bad in life you begin to think no one will forget? That one catastrophe will forever mar your existence?

I didn't think I could be ruined with one sin --no matter how bad it was.

Until today.

Today i learned that the past could forgive but it never forgets...

I might lose a job for getting sick, that's all really. This whole drama just moved a macroscopic expanse. I guess, what i know now, doesn't just apply to this job I'm trying to get.

I think i fairly understand that what we decide on today will make or break us someday and that though battlescars are impressive proofs of our fought glory, they are indications too that we have been weak.

I will not claim perfection for i did not earn at least any close semblance to it.

In fact, i was one of those who loved the mess that i was.

But then, i grew to realize that not everyone can tolerate a mess. And I'm just unlucky that my boss is one of them.

If i get this job, then great, maybe I can redeem myself. If not, then we'll see..

I can always go to the junkyard after, hehehe..

Missing Murray

It's so easy to be happy, to want nothing else --if only everything else that mattered were within reach.

I miss my boyfriend. My days are busy. I don't have a lot of time to actually think about it, but I think about it all the time. I wander around malls imagining what he would say about this nice white summer dress I saw or how he would react to eating chicken inasal with bare hands and if he would think of me as a pig if he saw me eat.

The good thing about the future, when the present isn't heaven, is that it's got a fair shot of being great as much as it can turn out badly.

And so far, my sun is shining bright and I see no rain clouds in the horizon.

I only wish right now, I were with him basking in the glorious sunshine...

The Fish That Flies...

I am not used to failing. I'm not saying I do things right all the time, but I know what I am capable of. The thing about it though, is that I'm only good at what I love.. or at least patient with what I enjoy doing.

Right now, I have a job that I really didn't dream or. It's a good paying job and I love the people but even if i started out with flying colors, I'm now quickly sliding off the slope, arms flailing helplessly in the air.

Happiness is a choice -I've always said that. But I know it's difficult to believe and practice. I can choose to be happy with this job. I am, in a way. But I know this is not what I was cut out for. This is not something I can be incredible at. And the longer I stay, the more tortured I feel.

I wish I could quit. And go after something I actually want. Because right now, I feel like a fish trying fly with wings that are not there.

But this is the way it has to be for now.

I only wish my sanity doesn't depart from me...