The Dream Guy

He should be 6'1" tall, flawless, chiseled, with almond brown eyes, washboard abs, a Porsche, a reputation for being the most eligible bachelor, a devotion to commitment, a fat wallet and complete and total adoration for you.

Yup, that sounds like an apt description for every girl's dream guy. He just has to have it all.

But anyone who has it all is pretty much nonexistent. There is just no such person on earth.

Either he looks like a god driving a Jag but he cheats on you, or a total geek who makes you laugh and hugs you at the end of a long, exhausting day.

And since it's just the way it has always been with relationships, it all boils down to the main point of making your choice: do you go after the dream guy or the guy in whose life you are the dream?

Unfortunately, we can't negotiate.

I never try to.

Well, probably because I'm not given much choice. But that set aside, it's because I always knew what choice I wanted to make.

Let's just say I have always been in the position to choose my men. That's why I've always gotten bombarded with curious questions of why I always went after the geeky types.

First of all, I don't think there's anything remotely wrong with being a geek. If a person is smart, and maybe a little passionate about it, he has every right to be it. We'll be who we want to be.

Second, I want guys who are intelligent. I'd rather go out with someone who can have meaningful conversations with me and be sincere (even if a bit clumsy) at showing his feelings for me.

I am bored, sickened and appalled by men who has shinier shoes than mine, who know more designers than I do, has more hair products piled up on his mane than I have and flirts with practically anything with a skirt on.

I don't want a trophy boyfriend who looks good around other people and becomes a selfish monster when we get home and there's no one watching.

I don't want a guy who can lavish upon me all the luxuries of the world, but barely listens, compliments my dress or tucks me in and kisses me goodnight before we go to sleep.

I want a guy who can laugh his heart out, wear what he wants, hold me when I need it, take care of me when I'm sick, be a man for me and for us, and be himself because he is at peace with who he is.

And I really don't care if along with all those qualities, is a penchant for all things geeky and amusing.

My man reads magazine articles about pluto, researches sea levels and how it can affect the building I work in, gets a haircut against my fashionable instincts because he wants to be comfortable and wants to have venus flytraps as home plants.

Geeky alright but I love it!

I love it because I know it's him and not some typical Hollywood bachelor he's trying to copy. I love it because it's part of the total package I have learned to respect, love and adore.

And I don't think that if he was someone else, I'd want him as much as I do now.

I guess the bottomline of all this is that, the dream guy is described exactly the way it's defined: a guy we dream up and wish to have.

And the only way for that dream to become reality is for us to align those standards to what's real and possible.

Know for a fact that no one is perfect or that there is anyone on this earth who has it all.

Instead of looking for a guy who is the exact dream you have, shape your dream guy based on the one you're with, who makes you happy and who you know is good for you.

It will slowly become clear, that some dreams, are realities we just fail to recognize even when they're already right in front of us..

The Truth About Love

Love is a fool's sanity and a sane man's foolishness.

Oh yeah, it's complicated alright.

Leaving someone because you love them too much, not saying it out loud when it feels like bursting out of you, hoping when you know there is nothing there to hope for, falling when all you wanted to do was fight against it.

I told myself once that I will always have the upperhand on love --that it was the only way to beat it, that to have it control me will be the end of my sanity.

But love is like a force of nature --unpredictable, unstoppable and most of all, it destroys only to always start something new.

I have been destroyed --so many times I'm amazed at the endurance of my heart muscles. But always, all the time, something new begins in me.

I love often and many, but rarely do I make it a lifetime.

The last time I did, I walked out when I wanted to stay, I let go when I wanted to hold on. Because love as preached in the Bible, is woven along the same thread of prudence, faith, sacrifice and selflessness that in deciding to love, you agree to all its terms and that one day, when it asks of you, you can't refuse.

Yes, letting go seared me a great deal. Lifetimes are the hardest to let go, you know?

But salvation came to me incredibly quick.

So here I go again beginning another lifetime, literally and figuratively.

I thought you can only go down this road once but no, the truth about love is that you can do it over and over again, assured in the knowledge that though you'll slip and sprain an ankle, you will always find people who will stop by and pick you up and carry you along.

And yes, the losing and finding over and over again can be crazy and frightening, but it's the only way there is, for you can never lose what was never yours and like most things on earth, we will always lose what we have --beauty, wealth, people we love.

The good thing about it is the knowledge of the many we loved and hoped in.

That life had been full because we took the chance everytime it presented itself to us.

The truth about love is that we will always think we have it all figured out, only to realize that we actually don't.

The only thing we can do, is never miss a chance to keep trying and eventually fiinding it out.

Happiness

People spend so much time and money just to find it --to experience it, to think that at least once, it had been real for them.

No, I don't have a private jet, a collection of Gucci bags or Blahnik shoes, a perfect face and body, a PHd at Microphysics or Prince William for a boyfriend.

I screw up frequently, I have a few regrets, several wishes and plenty of scars --but the thing is, I know it's part of why I can be grateful and happy for the times that I don't srew up, make no regrets or have nothing to wish for, and save my knees from many other scrapes.

Happiness is a relative term.

If you ask me if I'm happy, yes, I'm happy.

Then why just happy and not happiest?

Because if you're only happy, you could get happier.

And i realize that this could be best because the moment we hit the happiest wall, with nothing to ask for, life loses its meaning and we find ourselves lacking of what to work hard for anymore.

You see, we are happy when we have hope, that though today is great, we think tomorrow can be awesome.